Discussing difficult topics with children can be uncomfortable and this pandemic is no exception. Aliza Pressman, PhD, co-Founding Director and Director of Clinical Programming for the Mount Sinai Parenting Center, shares information parents and guardians can use as they care for children during the time of COVID-19.
Should I let my children watch the news?
If you want to give age-appropriate information to your kids, I recommend reading articles from reputable sources—either to them or with them—and then talking about the information. You may want to stick with resources that do not show images as it can be hard for children—and adults—to get images out of their minds.
We don’t want our children to see difficult images that we cannot control. For that reason, I would recommend turning off the news completely in front of younger children. In fact, older children and teenagers don’t really need those images either. Ideally, you should set aside time to watch the news to when you are alone or with other adults. This will also help manage your own stress because you will be limiting the amount of time you spend taking in this information.
I would discourage people of all ages from watching the news too much. Having the news on 24/7 heightens stress in the household and sends the message that you’re scared to turn the news off because you’re afraid you’ll miss something.
How do I help my child understand why they cannot see their friends and loved ones?
It can be hard for children to be unable to visit friends and loved ones, like grandparents, who they might be accustomed to seeing regularly. Try to empathize with your child and help them come up with proactive ways to connect with grandparents or other loved ones whom they cannot see.
This is the time to take advantage of social media and digital devices to empower your child to forge a connection with someone when they are not in the same room. Help turn sadness into productive action by encouraging your child to write letters, send notes, call, and video chat. These are beautiful ways to connect and show children that there is something they can do to help a person they love feel better.
If your child doesn’t have someone to connect with, there are organizations that can help you reach out, write letters, and draw pictures for elderly and vulnerable people who are currently isolated.
Should I tell my child if a loved one is seriously ill?
No matter how old your child is, it’s important to be honest and give your child the information needed. How you explain the situation depends on the child’s age.
For younger children, if a close family member is ill and you know how that illness is progressing, you can tell your child that the person tested positive for COVID-19. Explain the care that person is receiving and that you need to support them from afar.
If the person is very ill and you do not know what the outcome will be, it’s okay to express that to your child. Explain that the person is receiving great care and that you will keep in touch to see how things are going. You do not want to tell your child that everything is fine and then, all of a sudden, the person’s condition deteriorates.
On the other hand, if the person is asymptomatic and has tested positive, you don’t necessarily need to tell your children.
What if I or my partner becomes ill?
If you or your partner are sick, you need to tell your child what is going on. Explain that COVID-19 is very contagious. Explain that, in order to keep their body healthy and their parent’s body healthy, you will need to be separated for 14 days. You can make a calendar as a visual reminder of how long you will be apart. This can work well for the whole family as even adults can benefit from being able to check off each day of quarantine as it passes.
When you explain anything to children, be sure to check in first. See what they know already and then you can see where to begin with the explanation.
Dr. Pressman is the host of parenting podcast Raising Good Humans. Recently, she and Mariel Benjamin, LCSW, from The Mount Sinai Parenting Center, answered questions from health care providers and staff on the front lines to help support their parenting curing COVID-19. Additionally, The Mount Sinai Parenting Center maintains a COVID-19 resources page for parents, caregivers, and health care workers.