As the outbreak of COVID-19 spreads throughout the greater New York area, people are adjusting to radical changes in their daily life. Businesses are closed, people are working from home—if they are able to work at all—and kids are trying to learn at home. It’s a stressful time for everybody. Rachel Yehuda, PhD, Professor of Psychiatry and Neuroscience at the Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai, offers this advice about resiliency skills and coping with the COVID-19 crisis.
It’s hard not to get overwhelmed by the news. Should you limit the amount of news you watch?
There’s a part of me that wants to keep up with every update. I try to limit my exposure because much of the news is repetitive and some of it is sensationalized. I was out west in mid-March for a brief trip, and saw pictures on the news of empty shopping shelves here in New York. I was pretty worried until I got home that there might be shortages. Of course when I did return, I realized that the situation wasn’t quite as bad as portrayed. People did panic-shop, but the shelves were also getting restocked. So my worry in that case was exaggerated.
On the other hand, it is a good idea to check in a couple times a day to get the latest reports. Let’s face it, a pandemic is a scary thing to be a part of, and there are important updates that we need in real time. The important news is information about what we can do or should be doing. We need to make sure we get our news from reputable sources, like the World Health Organization. Some news outlets have an agenda that they are trying to promote, and I don’t think that’s helpful or healthy to engage in because it may increase distress. But, even if you’re getting news from reputable sources, you don’t need it 24/7.
It’s hard to avoid if you’re home.
True, but it’s also a time when you can do other things at home other than having the TV on. It’s a time that you can read, write, do something creative, meditate, or try a recipe you’ve wanted to try. You can spend time playing with your children, writing letters, or get organized, even clean out your closet.
Think of something you can do at home that will make you feel productive, and that you’ve accomplished something at the end of the day. Put the focus on enhancing your home experience as opposed to what you can’t do in the outside world.
It’s also a really good time to check in on friends, neighbors and particularly, older folks. Now is the time to catch up with other people, perhaps there’s someone you haven’t had a chance to talk to. Or maybe there’s an older person who’s shut in and isolated and needs help. It’s a healthy and healing thing to think about other people, rather than focus exclusively on yourself.
Some people are reporting that they are learning a new “coronavirus skill or art.” Think about the things you have always wanted to do, but never had the time. Arts and crafts. Watercolors. Play a musical instrument.
Does sticking to a daily routine help keep you on track?
For some people it’s very good. For children, in particular, the structure of a routine is very grounding. But there is also something liberating about a guilty pleasure of going off routine. If you always wake up really early to commute to work, there is nothing wrong with giving yourself a treat of an extra hour of sleep to make up for some of the negative aspects of not being able to go out and do whatever you want. So I wouldn’t rigidly advocate it for everyone. If you feel lost without a structure, like you are wasting the day or failing to be industrious or productive, a schedule can be important. But for people who find themselves over-scheduled, there is something about putting the world on mute and listening to one’s needs that can promote a sense of well-being.
The key is to be mindful about it. We are being given an opportunity to connect with something inside of ourselves that hasn’t been nurtured. We have been given more time. Sleep an extra hour, or skip a meal if you want. Do something you don’t ordinarily get to do. It’s a chance to embrace possibilities outside the box. We’re in a serious situation, but we can try to make the most of it and squeeze something positive out of it.
The people who are going to do the best are those who find special moments, special meaning, and special opportunities during this time. During the past couple days, I’ve gotten texts from people just asking “How are you doing? I’ve been thinking about you.” It’s wonderful to get those messages and connect when, otherwise, we might not have had time. And we’ll come out the other end of this changed in some way—maybe for the better.
Can you talk a bit about resiliency skills?
Optimism is certainly a big resiliency skill. Being able to look at the positive side of things is very important. I believe spiritual mindfulness is key; understanding what is in your control and what is not. And taking whatever control you can take, acting on it, and not feeling victimized. And knowing that this will all pass, and maybe good things will come from it in the future. This is hard to do while people are getting sick and dying, and when people are losing their jobs and faced with economic hardship. Grieving losses in real time is an important key to resilience in the future. Realistically assessing and starting to think about what will need to happen in the weeks to come if one has lost one’s job is also important.
Not feeling helpless, but trying to act is also an important way to build resilience. I am reminded of 9/11. At this time we want to behave in a way that when we look back, we will be proud of what we did during this pandemic—individually and as a society. If you bear that in mind, you won’t have disappointed yourself, and that is an important key to resilience.
Doing things for others—altruism—is also key. If you help others, even if there’s a certain amount of risk to yourself, you’ll feel good about yourself when all is said and done. Certainly health care workers on the front lines are expressing altruism each day. People are scared right now. Even people I know who are always positive are worried about getting sick, or even worse, being a carrier and getting someone even more vulnerable at risk. You should be careful if being helpful means posing a risk to yourself or to others. Yet there are many ways to contribute without leaving the house. We can show up each day in our lives—for ourselves and other people—and ask what can we do today to help. That’s resilience.