You might be thinking, why is a dietitian telling me not to diet? Don’t they put people on diets?

Well, it’s complicated. Let’s first define ‘diet’ in the context of this post. When I say diet, I am referring to an eating plan with rules focused on restricting foods, food groups, calories, etc. The diet’s primary measure of success is the manipulation of body size or maintenance of an ideal weight. Often these goals are set forth by a societal standard and not the individual person.

Diets also tend to moralize foods as good or bad, healthy or not healthy, clean or—for lack of a better word—dirty. The foods you eat on a diet and how much you eat are usually determined by external rules set forth by an individual or the diet itself, and not internal cues like hunger, fullness, and cravings.

Popular examples include the paleo diet, which heavily restricts highly processed foods along with grains, legumes, and dairy products; the ketogenic diet, a low-carbohydrate and high-fat diet that virtually eliminates fruit and root vegetables; or structured eating plans where you are counting points or calories throughout the day.

Nearly everyone has tried to diet and most have ended up feeling like a failure in one way or another. But it is not the individual who has failed; it’s the diet, because diets don’t work.

In the long term, diets are not sustainable. There is not a single randomized-controlled trial that can show sustained weight loss after two years on any diet. Within five years, 95 percent of dieters will regain all weight lost. Often, the regain will leave folks heavier than they were before the diet, because dieting can adversely affect your hormones and slow your metabolism.

It is absolutely possible to feel good and live a healthy lifestyle without dieting. Instead of the latest fad diet or obsessing over a food tracking app, try the following:

Forget the black and white thinking.

Labeling foods as good or bad makes it really difficult to listen to hunger, fullness cues, and cravings.  Think of all foods as one big, neutral shade of gray. There is a place for every food in a balanced, varied diet. Remove the stigma placed on certain foods and the pedestal we put on other foods. That’s right, have your cake and eat your kale too.

Instead of focusing on weight or body size, focus on how you feel.

What health-promoting behaviors will help you feel good? Make a list of these items: things like eating more vegetables, going for evening walks, taking an exercise class that you enjoy, or cooking dinner for your family. Identify the behaviors that make you feel good but that you may not be doing enough of, and vice versa. These behaviors and the frequency with which we practice them make a difference in long term health, not micromanaging our diets or weight.

Seek out help from a registered dietitian with non-diet, weight neutral philosophies.

Our relationships with food are complicated. It can be extremely hard to break up with dieting and the diet mindset. These specialized dietitians can help guide you on a path of diet freedom and a more positive relationship with food, and help you identify the health-promoting behaviors that can fit within your lifestyle.

Dining out can be a great way to spend quality time with friends and family. Health-conscious individuals, however, may find dining out to be a challenge due to the overabundance of unhealthy options and the lack of transparency on restaurant menus. Fortunately, by following these simple steps, you can painlessly make healthy eating choices while out on the town.

Before heading out, be sure to check the menu and have a snack.

Most establishments have their menu available online. Plan a nutritious meal in advance. Selecting your meal beforehand prevents you from being tempted by less healthy options once at the restaurant. To avoid overdoing it, have a small, healthy snack that includes fiber and protein before the meal, so that when the bread basket arrives, you won’t overindulge.

Start your meal smart by avoiding liquid calories and ordering a healthy appetizer.

Try to avoid sodas and alcoholic beverages, as these can quickly add excess calories and sugar. Go for healthier options like seltzer, water with lemon, or unsweetened iced tea. If you’d like an alcoholic drink, avoid one of the pre-made, sugary ones like margaritas or daquaris.  Consider a light beer, a glass of red wine, or a seltzer paired with the alcohol of your choice and a lemon wedge.

Healthy starters can keep you full so you are less likely to overeat when the entrées arrive. Some smart options include a vegetable appetizer, a tossed salad, or a broth-based soup rather than lobster bisque.

Eat your vegetables and steer clear of fried foods. 

Vegetables are high in fiber, which will help you feel full without adding extra calories, so add non-starchy ones (i.e., not potatoes or corn) as side dishes. If your meal normally comes with French fries or onion rings, swap them for a side salad or a vegetable. Avoid anything fried, as well as entrees described as breaded, pan-fried, creamy, or crispy, since these are often higher in calories and fat. Instead, look for menu terms that are broiled, steamed, roasted, and baked – all healthier options.

Making smart eating choices while dining out is possible. By preparing before the meal, you can dine out without the guilt. Remember, indulging is okay occasionally; just try to get back on track for the next meal.

A low-fat diet was once touted as the best for weight loss and optimal health. Groceries stocked low-fat foods on the shelves and everyone avoided fat like the plague. Unfortunately, the low-fat diet trend did America a great disservice. In fact, obesity rates in the United States have consistently climbed. Adena Neglia, MS, RDN, CDN, Senior Dietitian at The Mount Sinai Hospital, explains why fat is not the enemy and how to incorporate ‘good fat’ into your diet.

Do fatty foods make you fat?

Let’s clear up a common misconception: Fat does not make you fat. We gain weight when we eat in excess of our needs, whether the excess comes from protein, carbohydrates, or fats. From a weight management standpoint, fat makes food taste good. When we eat it, we feel more satiated and wind up craving and eating less food later on. In fact, getting adequate amounts of healthy fats in your diet may make managing your weight easier.  From a health and wellness standpoint, fat is needed to help our bodies absorb certain fat-soluble vitamins, including vitamins A, D, E, and K. In the brain, fat stimulates the creation of new brain cells and improves our memory. Fat is critical for reproductive health in men and women because it is used to both produce and balance our hormones.

What is a ‘good’ fat?

As with any macronutrient, quality matters. Healthy sources of fat include avocados, olive oil, nuts, seeds, grass-fed beef, and fatty fish. Incorporate healthy fat into your diet by mashing avocado on toast or pureeing it into a sauce for zucchini noodles. Drizzle olive oil on vegetables to roast them or use as a dressing with lemon on a salad. Add chopped nuts to yogurt and oatmeal or eat them as a snack by themselves.

So, what fat do I need to limit or avoid?

Trans fat. Found in most processed and packaged foods—such as cake, cookies, chips, and crackers—it can be hidden on the nutrition label as “partially hydrogenated oils.” This kind of fat is terrible for our hearts. Not only does it raise your LDL (“bad”) cholesterol, but it also lowers your HDL (“good”) cholesterol. In 2013, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) specifically designated partially hydrogenated oils as no longer “generally recognized as safe.”

How can I avoid trans fat?

Choose whole food sources and check your labels for lurking trans fat. Here’s a list from the FDA of foods that contain trans fat.