While we may be well aware of the meanings and pronunciations of the words we choose, and our tone of voice and volume when we speak, there are additional guidelines for social language, also known as “pragmatics.” Successful social language is appropriate, informative and persuasive, while poor pragmatics can lead to social isolation and lack of acceptance.
Effective pragmatics skills include:
• Modifying what you say or how you speak according to:
• The situation and location, such as whispering in a library or cheering loudly in a football stadium.
• The audience/listener; for example, employing formal language in a courtroom in front of a judge or using slang gossiping with friends.
• The purpose of your speaking. For example, greeting, requesting, questioning or commenting all involve at least some variety in tone of voice and stress on certain key words. It is natural to say hello to a friend enthusiastically, for instance, while requesting information from a nurse might be stated more seriously. It is expected that you might sound happy if you are telling a joke, but not if you are offering condolences.
• Following certain conventions for having conversations, such as introducing the topic, staying on topic, taking turns and not interrupting, and clarifying if not understood.
• Effective use of verbal and nonverbal signals, body language, facial expressions and eye contact, as there are direct and indirect ways to present a message. For example, if I am double-parked and need to get in and out of a store quickly, the direct and pleasant way to convey my circumstance would be to ask the store clerk to please help expedite my transaction. An indirect and rude comment would be for me to sneer and complain, “Why is everyone so slow around here?”
Similarly, in some cultures, hand gestures enhance the verbal message and speakers tend to stand close to each together, but in other cultures, hand motions might be considered distracting from the speaker’s verbal content, and there may be two or three feet separating the people conversing.
We can communicate cordially in all situations with all types of persons if we consider:
• whom we are speaking with
• where we are
• what we want to convey, and
• how best to state it
If someone has difficulty with these skills, perhaps as a result of a stroke or brain injury, the Mount Sinai Health System provides Speech-Language Pathology services at all seven hospital locations.
References from the American Speech-Language Hearing Association (ASHA):
http://www.asha.org/public/speech/development/Pragmatics
http://www.asha.org/public/speech/development/PragmaticLanguageTips