Everyone feels anxious now and then. Sometimes it’s a particular situation that makes your stomach clench, like visiting the doctor or meeting someone you don’t know; other times, you may experience a wave of anxiety for no particular reason.
There are some simple steps you can follow to relax. Rachel Kaplan, LCSW, a clinical social worker at The Mount Sinai Hospital, shares three tools you can use anywhere—without signaling your distress to everyone around you.
Breathe mindfully
You’ve probably heard that breathing can help you relax. But mindful breathing is more than just holding your breath.
What is mindfulness?
Mindfulness involves being aware of the moment and not judging yourself. Just notice how you feel and allow yourself to feel that way. Try not to force yourself to be relaxed as that can backfire and make you feel more stressed. You want to remind your body that you are safe
When you’re anxious, you tend to take shallow breaths. This is part of our ‘fight or fight’ response that kicks in when our brains sense a threat. To counteract this and help relax the body, try a technique called belly—or diaphragmatic—breathing. Start by placing one hand on your chest and one on the lower stomach area. Take a deep breath, inhaling through your nose, for four counts. Hold your breath for three counts. Then exhale slowly, through your mouth, for six counts. Deep breathing helps to ground us and signals to our brains that we are safe, lowering our anxiety level.
As you breathe, watch to see which hand is rising and falling—you’ll want it to be the hand on the belly. Take another deep breath and imagine that you’re pushing air into that lower hand. Repeat this exercise 10 times.
Focus on your senses
Use all your senses to focus on small details of the here. This will help you ground yourself and will take your mind off your anxious thoughts.
Think about the small details of your surroundings:
- Start by naming five things you see around you. This could be the table you’re sitting at or your water bottle.
- Name four things you can touch: your sweatshirt, hair, necklace, or shoes.
- Acknowledge three things you hear, such as a car horn honking outside or the click-click of someone typing.
- Name two things you can smell, maybe the remnants of last night’s dinner or your cat’s litter box.
- Finally, acknowledge one thing you can taste.
By focusing on the exercise, you don’t have enough brain power to analyze and worry. Your concerns drift away, and you feel calmer.
Use your peripheral vision
This isn’t easy and requires concentration.
Start by looking straight ahead (not on a phone or computer screen) and pick one spot to stare at. It can be a mark on the wall, a doorknob, a tree branch—whatever jumps out at you. Focus your gaze on that spot for 5 to 10 seconds. Keep that focus, then widen your field of view without looking away from your focal point.
Notice what you see in your peripheral vision. Start on the right side and observe what you can see without moving your head or straying from your focal point. You may just see colors and movement or you may see objects. Do this for about 10 seconds. Then, for about 10 seconds, notice what you see on the left without looking away from your focal point.
By focusing on your peripheral vision, rather than your anxiety, your breathing will slow and your face muscles will relax. When you feel calmer, you can bring your attention back to the view straight in front of you.