Guest post by Sharyn Kreitzer, MSW, Director of Outreach for the Recanati/Miller Transplantation Institute and Greta Deerson, LMSW, Kidney Transplant Social Worker.
Organ donation recipients are encouraged, through their transplant centers, to contact donor families (even though they do so anonymously) to say thank you. The Donor Family Services team from LiveOnNY acts as an intermediary to determine when both the donor and the recipient are ready to reveal identifying information and they often assist in coordinating a meeting when both donor and recipient are ready.
Learning about the outcome of a loved one’s donation often gives families a tremendous amount of peace and comfort. Reaching out to say thank you–recognizing and appreciating their “Gift of Life”–is an essential aspect in the emotional and physical recovery for many recipients.
Social workers at Mount Sinai’s Recanati/Miller Transplantation Institute work closely with recipients to help them with this process. Below is a letter that kidney recipient Michael (pictured with social worker Greta Deerson) sent to his donor family. He hopes to have an opportunity to meet them.
To the family of my Kidney Donor,
I have extremely mixed emotions as I write this letter. Having lost my father within the past few years I can only imagine the fresh emotions you still feel. However, I really needed to share with you how your son’s foresight and selflessness saved me. I was dying both physically and mentally and your son’s act of selfless act of kindness in becoming a donor saved my life! These words sound so plain but the reality is there is nothing plain about my heart filled appreciation.
In 2010, I was diagnosed with the early onset of renal Kidney failure. I did everything I could to prevent this from occurring but a myriad of other medical conditions catapulted this kidney issue faster that I could have ever imagined. I went from working full time and living on my own to being placed on disability, struggling financially, living with family and spending numerous days and weeks rotating in and out of the hospital.
By 2013, the word “living” was not a word that accurately reflected my life. I could no longer walk beyond a few feet, carry more than 5 pounds, climb stairs, stay alone for extended periods of time and even going to the bathroom became a challenge. In addition, I became awkwardly familiar with the hospital staff since I was hospitalized so frequently and commonly for extended periods of time – which was lonely, disheartening and depressing. With each hospitalization and discharge, my prognosis became graver.
In 2013, the doctors informed me that I had exhausted all of my medical options and that without a Kidney my death was imminent. Although they put the words differently the outcome was still the same. At that point I began to lose hope. I spent time embracing my family and friends and trying to get my affairs of life in order.
In March of this year, I was notified that I was a perfect match for a kidney and told to come to the hospital immediately. When I hung up the phone I was so happy and then simultaneously my heart began to hurt for family and the person whose kidney I was soon to receive. Although there are no words to replace the hurt or emptiness that you may feel please know that your son’s kidney has restored my life. I am now able to walk longer, breathe better, function with minimal assistance and maybe eventually return back to the workforce. My life now has a new sense of purpose and normality. Please know that when the world is quiet and I am breathing without a struggle I am ever thankful and reminded of your son’s compassion and gift to my life.
Sincerely,
Michael Green