Guest post by Robin Kerner, PhD, Director, Quality Initiatives and Outcomes, Mount Sinai St. Luke’s and Mount Sinai Roosevelt
It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas…trees, lights, extra pounds and family stress! The season looks so pretty and perfect on holiday greeting cards; however, for most of us, life is more complicated than what those scenes capture. This discrepancy can create even more stress as we may wonder, “Am I the only person out there who doesn’t love the holidays?” Let me start by saying this is definitely not the case. If you find yourself struggling this time of year, know you are not alone—and there are things you can do to help manage the stress and depression that can set in during the holiday period.
1. Remind yourself that the holiday season is time limited.
Despite the retail industry’s message, the Christmas season does not start in October! Every year, it feels as if the holidays begin earlier and earlier, which may be great for shopping but not for our mental state, as it provides too much time to think (maybe even brood) about our holiday-related problems. Now in the thick of it in December, if you find yourself feeling overwhelmed or upset, take a moment, breathe and remind yourself the holiday period ends January 1. It’s just a few weeks away and you can get through it!
2. Stay connected.
Not everyone can be with family during the holidays. If you enjoy this family time (remember, not everyone does) but can’t make the trip this year, you can do things to stay connected to your loved ones. Schedule time to talk on the holiday, perhaps even joining the family celebration via video chat. Do make plans with friends or neighbors so you are not sitting home alone and isolated. Consider volunteering in your local community—many organizations are short-handed this time of year. Research shows volunteering can improve your mood and physical health, and reduce stress!
3. Be realistic.
If you don’t get along with your family and time together is stressful, it’s best to have realistic expectations for holiday gatherings. Don’t think things will miraculously change just because religious traditions preach about miracles this time of year. Changing troubled relationships takes time and hard work. Acknowledging that you want things to be different is often the first step and a huge one to take. Do your best to keep it light and positive when hanging out with family. This isn’t the time to bring up longstanding grudges. Don’t expect your family time to look like what’s depicted in holiday television ads—you’ll set yourself up to feel even more disappointed, upset and angry with your family when your time together doesn’t measure up to that unrealistic standard.
4. Beware of alcohol.
There’s a lot of drinking during the holidays, and it can be hard to avoid. But if you’re feeling blue this time of year or trying to relieve stress, keep in mind that alcohol will only make those feelings worse (as will binging on sugar-filled holiday treats). Try more healthy coping strategies, such as exercising, healthy eating and getting enough sleep. I know it sounds like your grandma talking, but maybe she had it right!
5. Have some fun.
Make a list of activities you find fun and restorative and do them this time of year. Holidays can bring many obligations, such as family visits, gift shopping and office parties. Be sure to schedule some “me time” to recharge and connect with yourself and with people whose company you truly enjoy. And be thankful when you do so; a growing body of research shows that simple acts of gratitude, appreciation and thankfulness can have a positive impact on your health.
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